Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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