I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
