haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
