Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
