I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
