no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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