he told me I talked like a deaf person
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
