i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
