I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize