Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I need moral support for this bender
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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