I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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