So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
