He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
