did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
