I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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