Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think my fart just growled at me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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