Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I DEMAND FORESKIN
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
