I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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