Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its about making memories worth repressing
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
