the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
