My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
