oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
