THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
