I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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