i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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