Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
