I am puke
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
