Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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