Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
