if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
