Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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