Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I've blown a few things in my day
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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