She is in my trunk
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
