Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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