why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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