New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
