Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
