Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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