I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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