Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
