I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
