Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
