You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You're like the curious george of whores
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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