I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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