we have pet lesbian snakes
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
