Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My bed smells like the plague
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