i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Alive.
So much puke
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
