the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
