remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
