i don't like sucking hair
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
