and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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