I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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