You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize