Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
