Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize