hotel room ftw
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
