we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
