how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
