So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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