Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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