I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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